Self-Worth Dysmorphic Disorder

19 Jan
**Disclaimer: not an actual diagnosable disease. 
Even though 9/10 women suffer from it.

It’s the New Year.  Time to purge some bad habits.

I’ve talked about Body Dysmorphic Disorder, which is something I see in a very small percent of my clients (like <1%), interesting subject, no doubt.  Seeing something distorted in the mirror that isn’t what is actually there.  But what about NOT seeing something in the mirror that IS actually there?  Is there a term for that?  (delusional? blind? 99% of women?)

Patti is looking good!

I’m obsessed with reading and statistics, because I’m a dork and I don’t have cable.  ANYWAYS.  One of my clients brought me a book that I am already inspired by.  Become Your Own Matchmaker by none-other-than The Great Patti Stanger (of Millionaire Matchmaker.  Who doesn’t LOVE that show?).   I’m also in the process of reading “Know Your Worth.”  So I’d like to pass on some powerful tips.

It’s time to empower yourself to be the beautiful you you should see in the mirror.

Patti had me write a few lists.  Take her advice.  Write lists.

Patti encouraged me to make a list of their interesting qualities.  Let’s see the things I’ve liked about the last 5 guys I’ve seriously dated are:  they love animals (me too!), are tall, educated, driven, powerful, social, and treat me like the princess I am.  And I quote my college boyfriend:

“You are such a f*$#%ing Princess.” 

Yes, I can be a princess, no doubt.  I want what I want when I want it.  But I am willing to do what it takes to reach my goals.  I wouldn’t be where I am if I didn’t.  So set some goals people!  Successful people have written goals and written steps it will take to achieve them.

Patti had me write another list.  10 things that make me happy.  You know what the first thing on that list was?  Me.  I make me happy.  I’m an honest, hard-working, trustworthy, reliable, strong, independent, educated, and  a sassy young woman.  Who I am inside makes me happy.  And yes, I have a pretty face.  I say this because I am happy being me, and I truly believe how you look effects how you feel about yourself.  Confidence is the sexiest quality anyone can have.  Don’t focus on your flaws.  Fix them. 

I am me 150% of the time.

Alexis (from Image Skin Care) and I were sitting at her kitchen table talking about peoples reputations in our industry.

This is Alexis

“Do people like me?”  I asked Alexis.

“Yes” she said.

“Even though I have a strong, sometimes abrasive personality?” I asked.

“People like that you tell it how it is and you understand how they feel.  They trust you because you don’t lie.  You are you, and people like that.  You say what they want to say.  And you empower women.  That’s what I like about you.”

Sometimes, you need that friend who is wiser in the ways of life than you, to EMPOWER you.  Another great book I read:  The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People.  One of the habits is we keep our inner circle with people who bring us up.

The Inner Circle

that's my mom!

Every Barbie Needs a Skipper (petite best friend)

Laurie is the best!

My inner circle is some extremely powerful and successful women.  Alexis being one, my Mom, Lisa from Pure Skin Care Salon, Laurie from Dr. Russo’s, Devan from the North Shore.  And of course, my lawyer Richard Gold, who is not a woman, but empowers me none-the-less.  …And I feel like he would love to be mentioned inside this circle of strong, powerful, beautiful ladies.  😉  Do you surround yourself with an empowering inner circle?

I figured Lisa would want to pick her own picture. But Buddy is just as cute as Lisa.

If not, time to do some friendly house cleaning.

Know Your Worth.

I’m worth 3 houses on the Cape, a new Mercedes, and some hot Louboutins.  But, unfortunately, I spent my dowry on my start-up.  That doesn’t make me think any less of myself though!  I know if someone doesn’t treat me with the respect and decency I deserve, it’s see ya lata.  You should feel the same way about yourself.   If you don’t, I suggest you befriend a gay man.  Because he will tell you how awesome you are everyday (and that’s what a man should do!).

...unfortunately not my boyfriend.

Beauty does start inside.

But don’t forget the The Halo Effect.

I’d also like to paraphrase Patti here.  “The women of the east coast are brilliant.  If only they can learn what Botox is.”  Take care of how you look, because in the end, you might loose your mind… but you’ll never loose your face!  (Is that funny?  I think so…)

Don’t worry Patti!  I’m here to help. 


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