Tag Archives: Northampton

Boston Barbie

24 Jan

This is from limited_edition_barbie_massachusetts_edition.php.  They didn’t know who came up with it… so I couldn’t site the original author, therefore I am not sure if I’m violating copyright laws?  SOPA and PIPA are dead right?  Anyways, whomever the author is, this is really funny!

Limited Edition Barbie: Massachusetts Edition

We really aren’t sure where this came from . It seems like the stereotypes portrayed below have been applied to areas around St. Louis, Florida, Memphis, Detroit, among other US geographic locations. It came to us via email, un-attributed to the author (email us, we’ll give you credit), and humorously rang true for some of the locations integrated into the list. Suggestions for the South Boston Barbie (both original model and Fort Point edition), Cantabrigian Barbie, and Allston/Brighton Barbie are welcomed..

backbaybarbie.jpg“Newbury Street/Back Bay Barbie”
This princess Barbie is sold only at The Prudential and Copley Malls. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a brownstone. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

framinghambarbie.jpg“Framingham Barbie”
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

WORCESTERbarbie.jpg“Worcester Barbie” (also available for Springfield)
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a buck knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills).That is, unless you are a cop, then we don’t know what you are talking about. Springfield model is available with Smith and Wesson handgun and matching hunting knife for added home-town street cred.

marblehead.jpg“Marblehead Barbie”
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included accessories include: Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won’t be able to afford any of them.

northadamsbarbie.jpg“North Adams Barbie”
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and a tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken’s butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

northendbarbie.jpg“Downtown/North End Barbie”
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as a condo, no car is available for this Barbie – parking is a bitch.

westernmass.jpg“Western Mass Barbie”
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out her house. Ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home – similar to Northern Connecticut Barbie.

nohobarbie.jpg“Amherst/Northampton Barbie”
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

newbedfordbarbie.jpg“New Bedford Barbie”
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

southshorebarbie.jpg“South Shore Barbie”
She’s perfect in every way. We don’t know where Ken is because he’s always out a-‘huntin’.

ptownbarbie.jpg“Provincetown Barbie/Ken”
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.

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